How old am I?? 

ב׳׳ה


This week we return in the Torah to “my portion” — B’har/B’chukotai — the portion of my conversion to Judaism and of my bat mitzvah.  It’s been 12 years since my conversion and 9 years since my bat mitzvah.   Each of those events feels simultaneously like they happened yesterday and a hundred years ago. 

May is also the month of my physical birth — 47 years ago, which I find really hard to believe because I remain a total kid at heart.  I find great joy in playing with my sons, whether building Legos, playing video games, racing cars, jumping on trampolines, or battling with Nerf guns.   

In a video I posted here a few weeks ago, Rabbi Rami Shapiro reminded his audience that whatever we think our age is, we have to add at least 13.8 BILLION years to it, because the pure soul that we were given is a piece of Hashem and has existed at least since The Big Bang.  

And, yet, each day, as we say in the morning prayer Yotzer Or, Gd renews Creation . . . including each of us!!   Because of this, Rabbi Nachman taught we need to take full advantage of each day for the unique opportunities that it offers. Who knows how we might be different today from yesterday, what  new talent or skill or interest we might find within ourselves . . . and maybe that also means that this version of me is here only today, so today, and every day, is Day 1 of an amazingly miraculous adventure!! 

I don’t know what number best describes my age, but I know I’m going to keep embracing each day and the opportunities Hashem gives me to live, to laugh, and to love.  And I pray you’ll do the same.  

Shabbat shalom to all — may you feel young and excited to be alive!!  jen

4 thoughts on “How old am I?? 

  1. Dear Jen,

    The years will have its traces to our body, but inside it is like staying young, untouched from the time.

    In some spiritual books I have read that we may have small dissolutions within certain dimensions and planes and also big dissolutions – reaching all planes where there is still matter combined with spirit – and that would mean that the big bang is not the end but was one bigger dissolution of matter – after it the “film of coming and being” is rewind and everything starts again with a new big bang. In those books it is also said that our journey is very very long already, lasting ages upon ages – and we still are not yet Home. But someday, when our ego slowly slowly disappears, He can take seat in us, can use us a tool – then everything we do, is not our doing but His doing (in this way would come out of the circle of cause and effect.

    Thanks for sharing, dear Jan
    And have a nice weekend
    Didi

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